INTJ and sexuality are as challenging as everything else in INTJ’s personality. It doesn’t just happen, it is a process of finding deeper meanings under the surface.
Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and feelings, and may not apply to all INTJ women in the world.
I have never met an INTJ who’d casually enjoy sex with strangers, but I can’t say it would not happen. If INTJ wants to keep their deepest feelings a secret (which is quite often), then some lighter relationships might work.
On the other hand, there is the constant need to find a deeper connection with another person which indicates that it would be nice to have a meaningful relationship with the partner.
To get a larger perspective on this, we need to dive deeper in the INTJ mind and find the motivation and need behind the actions. I will use three different kinds of INTJ personalities in my scenarios.
In relationship with INTJ who looks for the deeper connection
INTJs tend to focus 100% on the things they are doing. I can imagine there might be situations where INTJ hyperfocus can feel a little bit creepy with the intense stare but mostly it is not harmful.
When INTJ has these deeper connection vibes their sole purpose is to figure out the partner, you. They find you to be the most interesting thing on the earth and that is amazing. You are the luckiest person to have this devotion directed to you.
These INTJ types support their partner in every aspect of their lives. It can be a professional goal or personal goal and whatever the INTJ deems important to their partner they will try to provide it.
In a relationship with a reserved and careful INTJ person
Not many INTJ like people. Trust does not come easily because not many get the INTJ personality. These careful and reserved types do not project their interest openly. They tend to show it with actions like offering solutions to your problems.
Some other personality types might see this as a way of controlling the relationship. Open communication helps to understand the INTJ mind. Be ready to talk with your INTJ.
These INTJs need to be able to count on their partner. They do not understand white lies or situations where the partner could not keep their word. Trust is not freely given.
In a relationship with dominant INTJ person
This type sounds like the most challenging one but is the easiest to understand if the partner can logically think it through.
All INTJs think about their emotions and feelings, but these dominant ones do it on a different level. They might hate public displays of emotions, but when the feeling is too much, it can leak out. And then they want to analyze it to understand it better.
Arguments are common with the dominant type. They want to have perspective and expect their partner to communicate bluntly about their feelings. Pushing the conversation might be too much for most people. Be prepared.
What about sex?
INTJ might be the only personality type who sees sex as a challenge. It is a way to learn more, to feel a deeper connection to another person. It is also a way to understand themselves as sexuality is a way to show creativity.
But the one thing I am quite certain of is the need for being intellectually challenged above all else. This can be a conversation with the potential partner where the tension grows slowly or it can be an event with visual stimulation from the movie, theatre etc.
Some of us are audiovisual which means concerts work well too. Whatever the thing is, to feel connected to another human being, there needs to be happening something in the brain 😉
I am a slow burner when it comes to sexuality and sex itself. I need books, thoughts and preparation time before doing anything. I know some women go from 1 to a hundred in a few minutes, but for me, it might take a full day to get myself in the mood without my brain interrupting me with another puzzle of the universe to solve.
More articles from other people about this topic:
– INTJ in bed what the INTJs sexual energy is like
– 7 Secrets About Being in a Relationship With an INTJ Personality
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