The Struggles of Being an INTJ Mother

For me raising the kids was the easiest part. It was the social community I struggled with. As an introverted and independent person, I don’t feel ok to ask a lot of questions or sharing my life and thoughts with anyone.

Most of the time in the park I felt like an outsider. It was not a place where I belonged as motherhood was never the thing I wanted to become. I have a lot of other things going on in my life and being a mother is just temporary. Soon the kids will be adults and moving away from home. I am just borrowing them and my job is to raise them as best as I can to be an independent beings.

I do not have a need to control my kids. In others eyes, it might look like I am not caring enough. Well, I am not. At least not on that scale. I might worry a lot, but I try not to show it as my kid needs to figure things out all by themselves. As an INTJ, I understand how important is to have a space to make your own decisions and decide who you want to be in the world. That is the gift I am trying to give to my kids too.

INTJ mothers might not be the most cuddly or sensitive of parents, but they are always there and will never let you down

Whatever you have done, INTJ mother will think it through and understand how on earth you ended up in that situation.

After that, she will honestly tell you what she thinks about the situation and then leave you alone to work it out. INTJ mothers are the most understanding ones, because they knew what happened before you told it, trust me.

If you have an INTJ mother, you might have noticed that they are realists. They never coddle you on how things work in this world. Sometimes it feels horrible to know the world is not only unicorns and rainbows, but on the other hand you know exactly how much you have to work to get things done like you want.

As an INTJ mother I have answered questions where the other person asks do I even like my kids. Even my husband was not sure of that when the kids were little. I understand it because I might seem cold, but honestly I am a caring mother who loves her babies. I just do things rationally and it might look like I have a new job instead of being a mother. It is the difference between personalities and does not make anyone better mom or dad if you do things differently.

There are bad INTJ mothers too. Our personality is cold and cruel which means that we can be those to our children. When INTJ is not ok with herself or with her life, they can be as manipulative as any person, forcing their kids to do things they do not want and being distant to the emotional needs.

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